The Reality of Responsibility, Luck and the Nanny

I just finished reading Nicholas Kristoff's column in the New York Times.  I am making that disclosure in case you consider the New York Times a liberal East Coast rag and think of the Times' readers as hopeless liberal fops.  Read on only if you choose.

In his column, Mr. Kristoff writes about his college roommate who is dying of prostate cancer in Seattle.  A couple of Oregon farm boys who arrived together as freshman at Harvard in 1979, Mr. Kristoff and his friend have led very different lives.  Mr. Kristoff is a New York Times columnist, of course, and presumably does not live without health insurance or close to the margin in other essential ways.  By contrast, we learn that his former roommate, obviously a very talented man who earned a degree from Harvard, has made some choices that have come back to haunt him in fundamental ways.  He quit a career several years ago and had been working seasonally without health insurance for some time.  With no health insurance, Mr. Kristoff's friend, like approximately 48 million other Americans, did not go to a doctor regularly or as health problems arose.  Only when he become so ill that a visit to an emergency room was required did his friend get treated and then diagnosed.  At that point, the diagnosis of prostate cancer was more dire than it need have been, and may have come too late to save the life of Mr. Kristoff's friend.  

This story really struck a chord in me as I considered the consequences of the decisions I have made or might make.  It also made me wonder why this outcome is one that nearly half the country seems to think should occur more often, not less.  To be sure, the choices Mr. Kristoff's friend made are not choices I would make.  For starters, I am far too risk averse to actually consider quitting a job with health insurance, even if I hated the job desperately (and I have hated jobs desperately in the past).  By contrast to Mr. Kristoff's friend, I think every day is the day people will realize I am a complete fraud and I will be fired, and this compels me to try even harder to be good at what I do.  And, even if my irrational self-view is not a close approximation of reality, I live with the legacy of my mother, a child of the depression who grew up in a single parent household for a time, and whose anxiety about money and security permeated every aspect of my life growing up.  To this day, I worry about having enough money on which to live, and irrationally fret over spending money when emergencies like home repairs or unplanned trips to funerals arise.  In reality, I have been earning a good living as a lawyer for 20 years, and I am lucky in the moment to be financially far away enough from my own college days when I wondered if I would have $5 to withdraw from the ATM at the University of Florida student union.  

But, still, you never know, do you?  Fortunes do turn.  Debilitating, career-ending illnesses can occur.  This is true even if you are a virtuous, hard-working person who does all the right things and never makes a mistake.  So, why is moving to some level of a basic healthcare safety net such an infuriating proposition.  It's not like we're not already paying terribly for healthcare, whether it's for our own or for some portion of somebody else's.  Surely, some progress is better than none at this point.  Why are opponents of health care reform, including Mitt Romney and his supporters, so furious in their opposition.  What is so wrong with making it more possible and likely that fewer people will die or suffer needlessly because they have no health insurance?  Why is that so anathema to 21st century life and society in the greatest country on earth?  

The typical responses in support of Romney's campaign platform are about personal responsibility and not having a nanny state of government.  While those make for patriotic soundbites during a campaign, both are disingenuous and completely unresponsive to the legitimate and real problems with healthcare access in this country.

Problem one: the cost of health insurance.  Unlike Mr. Kristoff's college friend, I have a job working for the Federal government, which provides me with health insurance coverage.  When I joined my agency in 2008, I selected my health plan from available options and my contribution to paying for that coverage is deducted from my paycheck on a pro rata basis over the course of a year.  In other words, with taxes and other deductions, my health insurance payments are unnoticeable to me.  Note also that I said contribution to, not payment for, coverage.  Like many, I am lucky in that I am not forced to pay the full cost of the coverage.  My employer chips in a significant portion of the payment for my coverage.  As a result of this very important benefit, I see a general practice physician regularly and have access to specialists when the need arises.  I don't wait until I'm on the way to the emergency room before I see a doctor about a health problem.

In contrast to my current situation, if you are self-employed or have a job that does not provide health insurance coverage (or provides very limited coverage), it is prohibitively expensive to buy your own health insurance.  An equal obstacle is the fact that, if you can afford the coverage, the policy exclusions for pre-existing conditions often make the benefit of the insurance rather limited.  I mean, if you have a condition or are sick already, what good is health insurance you can't use anyway.  One of the intended changes of Obamacare is that everyone will be able to afford some health insurance coverage (and yes, it is a mandate) and they won't be locked out of coverage for a pre-existing condition.  

Some scream about the personal policy mandate aspect of Obamacare.  They admonish taking personal responsibility and complain about the overreach of the Federal government, but how detached from reality are those arguments.  We have seat belt laws so you can't stupidly place your infant child in the front seat of your car unbelted and risk him or her flying through the windshield in an accident.  Surely, parents should be responsible enough not to do such a thing.  But, obviously, enough weren't along the way and now we have these laws.  

It's also popular among some to believe that you "make it on your own."  You earn every dollar and support yourself with no assistance from anyone or any government agency or program.   The correlation seems to be that anyone who does advocate for some government assistance or program is lazy, not hard-working and lacking in moral fiber.  In order to take that view, it seems to me that you have to be remarkably free of the ability to engage in self reflection.  It also completely ignores the fact that, for many hard-working people in this country, including members of the armed forces, police and fire professionals and others, government benefits and programs are part of the contract, under which these men and women by their turn make sacrifices and put their lives at risk in order to do their jobs and provide those very important benefits to you and me.

As for your own bootstraps, please.  You've never been able to rely on friends or family to care for a sick child while you went to work, or to feed your pet while you took a trip, or to give you a ride when your car broke down?  Really, you've never gotten a leg up or an introduction from a friend who had connections that helped you get a job?  Honestly, you've never just been lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time?  Or, as in my case, you've never had a spouse or friend or family member talk you out of a really stupid decision with potentially disastrous consequences?  Would you prefer that we not have a federal interstate system of roads and would you rather inspect that bridge you're about to cross with your family?  By that same line of reasoning, would you rather not have Federal food inspectors and take personal responsibility for ensuring that the hamburger you just cooked for your family doesn't have dangerous levels of eColi, which could result in a life-threatening illness?  Sure, bad things still happen, but they happen a lot less with these aspects of a nanny state.  The government can't solve every problem, but that doesn't mean it needs to be active in fomenting new problems or preventing solutions to existing problems.

Problem two: the cost of healthcare.  Even if a person has a health insurance, that doesn't mean that financial ruin through illness is completely off the table.  In today's column, Mr. Kristoff's friend reports that his hospital bill at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle exceeds $500,000 at this point.  Because of his income level, he qualifies for charity and will not be required to pay that bill.  But, the cost of his treatment will be paid by the rest of the insured patients of that facility.  Under the current system, if that cost can't be disbursed among the health insurance-covered patients over time, Swedish Medical Center can't stay in business indefinitely.  But, even if a person has health insurance, it's often not enough.  I used to represent banks, which would be served with court orders to freeze bank accounts in order to pay delinquent medical bills.  My client, the bank, really was between the rock of the court and the hard place of an angry customer.  Those customers often called to yell at - or cry to - me about the lack of access to their money.  There was little I could do to help these customers because the bank was my client, not them.  In talking to them, however, I did learn that many found themselves in that state even though they had health insurance.  But, a catastrophic illness or injury had far exceeded the limits of their coverage.  It's sometimes not possible to avoid financially ruinous health events even if you have a job and manage to have health insurance.

I had a good reminder of this reality earlier this year.  As noted, I have good health insurance, so it didn't end badly for me, but I also was lucky in lots of other ways.  I awoke on New Year's Day with a burning headache.  It was strange in feeling and radiated down my neck.  I am married to a doctor, as it turns out, and when I described what I was feeling to him, my first stroke of luck was that he ordered me into the car and off to the emergency room.  We live in the suburbs of Baltimore and my next piece of luck was having a community hospital nearby that is affiliated with one of the world's greatest medical centers, Johns Hopkins University.  Upon arrival at the emergency room, the attending physician immediately recognized the signs of a brain hemorrhage.  A quick CT scan was performed and I was shipped downtown to the main hospital campus where I spent 11 days in neurological care for a ruptured vein between the tissue of my brain and my skull.  I was lucky again in that the bleed occurred where it did; I did not die or suffer a traumatic injury to the surface of the brain and its functions.  I was lucky once again to be in the care of the some of the world's most talented neurosurgeons.

My final stroke of luck brings me back to my employer-provided health coverage.  As you might imagine, the cost for such world-class healthcare is not cheap.  My 11-day odyssey, including the ambulance ride, totaled just under $80,000.  My out of pocket cost was about $4,000.  Still, even if I had not had my insurance, none of the professionals at Johns Hopkins would have done anything different for me.  I just would have been recovering from this injury facing an $80,000 bill.  In point of fact, the medical campus of Hopkins sits at the northeast edge of downtown Baltimore in a very poor, inner city neighborhood.  Many people have been treated at Johns Hopkins over the years and rung up similarly sized medical bills without my level of insurance.  With a low-paying job, or with no or limited health insurance, their emergency becomes an ultimate event of bankruptcy.

In the end.  I believe in personal responsibility.  I do not blame others for my misfortunes and I do not believe I (or anyone) am entitled to any handout.  I was the child of parents who never made more than $40,000 a year, but I wanted to be a lawyer.  So, I went to law school with loans and borrowed every dollar to earn two law degrees.  That was a bet that mostly has paid off.  Today, I own property and pay taxes and am a member of the bar in my home state.  I am married and we are raising a child with the goal of producing another productive, law-abiding citizen of this country.  But personal responsibility shouldn't morph into class warfare and a derision of everyone who might not be as successful or lucky or fortunate as you.  That speaks more of arrogance and bigotry than of an embodiment of the American spirit.   

In the end, healthcare reform won't fix the problem of the cost of healthcare, but it seems cruel to me to hold fast to the notion that paying for and ensuring an adequate level of healthcare is completely a function of personal responsibility.  I am not nostalgic for a time when a few people had it great and it sucked for the rest of us. 

I'd also like my country to be a place where there are more opportunities but I also want fewer obstacles - for everyone, not just me.  We do have a clear choice in this election.  It's between a version of America that never really existed (except for rich, straight white men) and the continuing movement towards a country that works together so that everyone has a fair shot at living a productive and healthy life.

I feel better anyway.

BOSTON AND PROVIDENCE IN 3 DAYS

A DOUBLE SERVING OF NEW ENGLAND: There are an almost unlimited number of possible travel itineraries for New England: beaches, islands and mountains; cities and towns; food and drink; forests and parks; art, museums and galleries; professional, winter and water sports. It’s all there and more. But, New England also is personal for me. Its two largest cities hold a special place because of family connections and my own experiences and major life events. My late parents were born, grew up and married in Providence. I earned a degree, ran a marathon and got married in Boston. Being Red Sox fans (Bo and Paw) is the tie that binds, of course.

Obviously, Boston and Providence more than warrant a separate visit dedicated to each city. Both are dynamic and fun and interesting and historical and really offer something for everyone. I recently spent a long weekend visiting with family and friends in both places, which allowed me to shuttle back and forth, and so what follows is a taste of these two cities if you had but a weekend to sample both.

It’s less than 50 miles from the gold-domed Massachusetts statehouse atop Beacon Hill in Boston to the all-white marble Rhode Island statehouse, presiding over Providence. Though similar in age and their New England pedigree, they otherwise are very different capital cities in size and character and history.

Boston, of course, almost needs no introduction as one of America’s most iconic cities, known for its politics, sports fans, world-famous cultural institutions and prestigious institutions of higher education. Yet, it simultaneously can be a very down-to-earth, rough around the edges kind of town.

The rabble-rousing founder of the Rhode Island colony established Providence, which just celebrated its 375th birthday. Roger Williams, who also established the very first, First Baptist Church in America, did not get along all that well with the Puritans of the Massachusetts Bay Colony because, in part, he really took religious freedom and an anything-goes mindset to the limits (in the Puritans’ view anyway). Following a long period of prosperity based on shipping and manufacturing, Providence slipped into a period of decline in the first part of the 20^th Century, earning a reputation for corruption, organized crime and a premature declaration of its demise. Providence later emerged victoriously from a much-reported renaissance.

Today, Providence is an exciting, historic and youthful capital and college town. This city of about 200,000 (with about 1.5 million in an MSA that includes a swath of southeastern Massachusetts) has adeptly harnessed its tremendous resources, human and otherwise, to create a very fun and progressive and livable place, focused on the future but with its tremendous history proudly on display.

BOSTON - EXPLORING BEYOND THE HUB: When I first arrived in Boston to attend graduate school at Boston University Law School, I briefly was confused by the reference to the “Hub,” which I noted in the newspaper article headlines. All was revealed when I learned that “Hub” was a reference to the city itself, as in hub of the universe. A touch arrogant? Perhaps. But, in many ways, Boston is its own universe. The heart of the city is so stuffed with history and cultural attractions and colleges and professional sports and monuments and shopping and dining, it’s possible to forget that Boston presides over a dynamic region of more than 4 million, and that much lies beyond the central core comprised of downtown, Beacon Hill, the North End, the waterfront, Back Bay and the South End. At the same time, there are plenty of reasons to stay close in. The city’s many attractions don’t rest on their laurels, changing and expanding over time. Case in point, the famed Museum of Fine Arts, located just to the south of the Back Bay and between the Northeastern University and the Longwood medical campuses. Already a world-class museum, the MFA in 2010 debuted a new wing dedicated to the Art of the Americas. This stunning addition beautifully showcases the MFA’s collection of American and colonial art.

Yet, part of Boston’s appeal does lie beyond its core, in the outlying neighborhoods and nearby towns and cities, each with their own personalities and histories. Beyond the city limits, Cambridge – home of course to Harvard and M.I.T. – is a key visitor destination in its own right. There’s also Newton, Brookline, Lexington, Quincy and, a bit further out, the seaside towns on the North and South shores. But, within the city limits of Boston, there are several great neighborhoods to explore. On my most recent visits, I have been hanging out with good friends who live in West Roxbury, and they have been introducing me to a few of their new haunts in some of the city’s less-visited residential neighborhoods.

On a recent April visit, my friends picked me up at my hotel, the Taj (formerly a Ritz Carlton), which sits across the street from the beautiful Public Garden in the Back Bay and we headed to Dorchester. One of the city’s oldest neighborhoods, Dorchester was an independent city until it was annexed by the City of Boston in the 19^th Century. Throughout its history, Dorchester was known as a neighborhood of Irish immigrants. Today, that strong Irish presence prevails, but it has been augmented by new waives of Caribbean and Southeast Asian immigrants, as well as by the growing presence of some of the city’s GLBT residents. Dorchester also is home to UMASS Boston and the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library at Columbia Point, which offers spectacular views back over Boston Harbor and the city skyline.

A great neighborhood place for dinner and, later in the evening dancing, is D Bar on Dorchester Avenue. The menu is reasonably priced and eclectic, and the friendly service makes this a very enjoyable night out, particularly in warmer weather when the outdoor patio is open.

A little further out are two other neighborhoods showing new signs of retail and gustatory life as the search for affordable, close-in housing brings new residents and demand. Jamaica Plain, or JP as locals call it, was one of Boston’s original streetcar suburbs and today is a diverse residential community with immediate access to the city’s Emerald Necklace, the string of inter-connected parks designed by Frederick Law Olmsted. On a recent Saturday evening, my friends and I had a delicious, locally sourced meal at 10 Tables on Centre Street in JP Centre. As the name suggests, the dining room is small, but the owners recently took over the adjoining space and added a laid-back bar where a meal also can be enjoyed. On our visit, I also benefited from Boston’s quirky local laws. It seems as if 10 Tables did not yet have a full liquor license, but that did not prevent it from distilling its own “cordials.” Result being, the Thai Basil Gin Martini made on premises was as tasty as the food.

Yet another outlying Boston neighborhood with its dining and retail scene seeing new action is Roslindale. In Roslindale Centre, centered on Washington Street, are a number of interesting shops and good places to eat. For an intimate meal with good friends, try the delicious Italian trattoria fare at Sophia’s Grotto on Birch Street, where I can personally vouch for the pumpkin sage ravioli and calamari. Three different neighborhoods, three restaurants and three new items to add to my endless list of reasons why I love Boston so much.

“DIVINE PROVIDENCE:” Roger Williams named the Rhode Island capital to give thanks, as the story goes, for God’s divine providence in delivering the religious colonist and his followers from the less than hospitable Puritan neighbors in neighboring Massachusetts. Nearly 400 years later, I think he’d be impressed with his city. Having survived much, Providence today is a great visitor destination and a perfect base for exploring all of the Ocean State. There is much to see in this the smallest of U.S. states. To learn more about the founder of Rhode Island and his ideals for religious freedom, stop by the Roger Williams National Memorial on North Main Street.

Although you will need a car to explore beyond the city, central Providence is compact and many of the its highlights and attractions are within easy walking distance. There are several lodging choices downtown, including the reopened and once-again grand Providence Biltmore. On my most recent visit, I stayed at two of the city’s newer hotels. The Renaissance Providence is a smart, luxury property housed in the former Masonic Temple and immediately across the street from the Statehouse.  The service is warm and efficient and its Temple Bar is a great place for drinks or a meal. I spent my second night in town at the Hotel Providence, a stylish boutique hotel housed in two historic buildings along Westminster Street, historically one of the city’s main retail avenues.

Although Providence’s department stores of my parents’ generation are long gone, Westminster Street today houses several interesting local stores. Eno is an intelligent liquor store selling a well-chosen selection of wines and spirits, including a tasty cranberry-infused vodka from Martha’s Vineyard. Across the street is the small but well-stocked Symposium Books; a locally run bookstore always speaks well of a city, in my view. Next door is Tazza, a coffee house, bar and restaurant that’s a good place to take a break throughout the day. Today’s retail scene downtown is dominated by the nearby Providence Place, which is anchored by JC Penney, Macy’s and Nordstrom, with several floors of national retailers in between, such as Apple, Banana Republic and Brooks Brothers.

Providence has always been a town that took its food seriously. Layered on top of New England seafood staples were the delicious contributions of the city’s Italian, Portuguese and other immigrants. Moreover, one of Providence’s many assets lies in the fact that the city is home to the main campus of Johnson and Wales University, a leading culinary school. Many of J&W’s students and graduates have stayed on, adding to the dining scene. Today, there are a number of diverse dining options, both downtown and in some of the adjoining neighborhoods. Among the current top dining options in central Providence are Al Forno, Local 121 and Gracies.

Looming immediately to the east of downtown – and a comfortable walk back downhill – is College Hill, home to some of the city’s most historic streets and two of its most famous institutions, Brown University and the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD). The Rhode Island Historical Society offers walking tours of this beautiful neighborhood. During my recent visit on a sunny December weekend, I took my own tour, walking from the statehouse through downtown and up the hill to the Providence Athenaeum, an independent membership library that opened its doors in 1838. Next up was the RISD Museum of Art. In addition to its place as one of America’s premier art schools, RISD also is home to one of the most important art museums in New England. Along with its extensive permanent collection and varying temporary exhibitions, you also might see some of RISD’s current students’ creations. There is a well-stocked gift shop for some unique Providence souvenirs.

I then made my way across the beautiful campus of Brown, an original Ivy League member founded in 1764 and the seventh oldest college in the United States. After checking out the Brown University Bookstore and the shops lining Thayer Street, the main retail strip on College Hill, I grabbed lunch at Café Paragon, where the chicken pesto Panini and sweet potato fries hit the spot.

After a really fun, late night catching up with my cousin, I went for a run the next morning. Leaving the Renaissance, I made my way past the statehouse to the path lining the Providence River, where the city’s famous Waterfire is staged in season, and south towards India Point, where the river empties into Narragansett Bay, before circling back to my hotel. After cleaning up, I headed out in the direction of Wayland Square, a great place for local shopping on Providence's east side. I found some cool cufflinks at Milan, a men's clothier, and picked up some Christmas presents for the cook in my life at the Runcible Spoon, a unique kitchen and entertaining store featuring the hand-blown glass of Simon Pearce. As I prepared to leave town, I made a quick detour to Federal Hill, Providence’s Little Italy, to check out the storefronts decorated for the holidays. More good food awaits in this neighborhood immediately to the west of downtown.

For the next trip. There will be more trips – to both cities. They both are in my blood in too many ways.

DECONSTRUCTING LOS ANGELES

CHOOSING YOUR SLICE: It took me several visits to warm up to Los Angeles. There was the sprawl and the endless traffic. Also, it always seemed such an impossible assignment to try and capture this massive and intensely complex city during the time span of a single weekend’s visit. By contrast and with some planning, Manhattan and the Chicago Loop are so much more manageable for a few days. Oh, and for me, there also was the question of why I would choose to surround myself with a population who, on average, are fitter, more well-tanned and better looking than most of us mere mortals in less screen-tested locales.

In the end, it was a 7-week work assignment a few years back that flipped a switch for me. Getting to live like a local, albeit out of a hotel room, for a few weeks allowed me to make a few important discoveries about Southern California. Most importantly, I simply needed to break down L.A. into manageable slices. In doing so with each opportunity to visit, I would be much more likely to really explore and enjoy a particular slice of America’s second city. Plus, there would be the correspondingly obvious need to return for more slices. I also discovered that, while Angelenos may be on the whole fitter than other regions’ denizens, they also have an obsession for burger joints, hot dog stands and food trucks, which made me feel less – well – lacking in self-control. What follows is a recent weekend visit’s order from the very tasty and extensive menu that is Los Angeles.

BREAKING IT DOWN: Weighing in at 3.7 million with a MSA population of nearly 13 million, the City of Angels is bigger and more populous than several states. It is its own world-scale economy with powerful sectors in entertainment, publishing, shipping, manufacturing, finance, healthcare and education. It’s also a potent and exotic mix of different races, backgrounds and cultures. One of the most interesting discoveries of Los Angeles for me was realizing that, while Hollywood may be the city’s signature industry projecting its images across the globe – and it’s a vitally important one – L.A. is much more than Hollywood – economically, geographically and culturally. Something I really like about Los Angeles as an East Coaster is that it represents the modern face of immigration in the United States. I think that’s a good thing, by the way. Just as New York, Boston, Baltimore and other Eastern ports of call welcomed – or at least admitted – immigrants from Europe and parts of Asia in the 19^th Century, Los Angeles is the face of 20^th and 21^st centuries’ immigration. The city is home to the largest number of any number of fill-in-blank-Americans, including Mexican, Vietnamese, Korean, Iranian, Salvadoran and others. The result is that L.A. today is a fascinating place to visit and experience a unique Southern California culture that is comprised of a great mix of languages, music, food and art. Way back in 2007, I ran my last full marathon – so far – in L.A., and the musical entertainment along the route included a Korean rap singer, which pretty much more than paid for the pain and suffering I endured on that particularly steamy March day.

In breaking it down, the choices and options admittedly are dizzying. Beaches, mountains or museums? Tracking the stars or getting a dose of the city’s unique cultural cocktail? High-end browsing in Beverly Hills or upscale consignment on Melrose Avenue? And, which neighborhood: Downtown, West Hollywood, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, Culver City, Los Feliz, Silver Lake, Pasadena, Century City, Venice, South Central, the Westside, San Fernando Valley? You really can’t go wrong. In the end, it’s all good, so don’t worry. There will be another slice.

FIRST UP: DOWNTOWN AND LOS FELIZ: A conference brought me to town on my most recent visit. The conference was in Hollywood, but I decided to stay downtown. This is the historic center of the city that is defined today by the confluence of L.A.’s infamous freeways and, until recently, it was considered a moribund, dead-after-dark destination. Not anymore. Today, downtown is pulsing with a combination of old standby neighborhoods like the Garment District and Little Tokyo, a clutch of new hotels, restaurants and bars, and premier entertainment centers like the Staples Center – home of the Lakers and Clippers (NBA), Kings (NHL) and Sparks (WNBA) – part of L.A. Live, a large, multi-use entertainment, dining and lodging complex.

A number of trendy and/or luxurious hotel outposts have opened in recent years, including the Ritz Carlton Los Angeles and the Standard. I went with an old-school choice that nevertheless was totally up-to-date. The Westin Bonaventure Los Angeles is one of those, oh-so-70s cylindrical tower hotels that has managed to stand the test of the time with some very recent updates and renovations. A law school pal joined me for the weekend, so we splurged and upgraded to a suite, which gave us two pie-wedge-shaped rooms with a western view that included the Hollywood sign. It should come as no surprise that the hotel gym was expansive and packed every morning. Located just off the 110 Freeway, the Westin also is just two blocks from a Metro station. Yes, it's true; Los Angeles has a mass transit system. Granted, it does not get you to all the destinations you might seek, but it is well used and delivered me between the Westin and the conference hotel for about $2 and within 15 minutes, far less time and money than a cab ride would involve. Also, the subway stations and trains were clean and well patrolled. I really felt in on a real local secret: I rode the subway in L.A.!

Back above ground, one of the trends of the moment in trend-setting Los Angeles that was on full display downtown during my recent visit is the prohibition- or speakeasy-themed bar. There are several choices but, with a recommendation from relatives, my friend and I cleaned up after drinks in the Westin’s bar and headed to Edison, a bar lounge and restaurant getting high marks for its inventive, artisanal cocktails and featuring a clandestinely appropriate side alley entrance in a former facility of Southern California Edison. But, it was not to be. My bad in that I wore a recently acquired shirt from an earlier trip to Berlin, which was maybe cool but collarless, so I was denied admission. At first, I was annoyed, but then I realized I had just checked off a quintessential L.A. experience: not making it past the velvet rope.

We recovered quickly and had dinner at the street-level terrace restaurant of the nearby Standard, a sleek hotel housed in a former office building. My burger and fries was simple in design, but deliciously L.A. in its indulgent execution. My friend and I walked back to our hotel on a pleasantly warm evening with the streets still full of residents and visitors, and began planning for our first, full weekend day.

The next morning, I headed out for a run to work off some of the prior evening’s indulgences. Los Angeles is a perfect running city from a climatological perspective, but it can be a challenging place to find a pedestrian-friendly route. Not so downtown – at least on the weekend. I left the Westin and headed north on Figueroa Street for a short loop through the still-quiet streets that featured some famous landmarks, old and new. First up was the Walt Disney Concert Hall, the striking home of the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Designed by Frank Gehry, the Disney Concert Hall is all waves of stainless steel. Even if you’re not attending a concert, there is an outdoor garden with the Lillian Disney Fountain where visitors can enjoy a picnic lunch or just take a quiet break from the hectic city beyond. Continuing north, I looped past the Cathedral of Our Lady of Angels, the mother church of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles, which serves more than 4 million parishioners. The cathedral, which opened in 2002, is a beautiful and striking example of modern Gothic. It’s also one of the largest churches constructed worldwide in more than a century. Around the corner from the Cathedral is the iconic City Hall, familiar to many from its many appearances in movies and television shows. I then turned south, passing the Museum of Contemporary Art, which features a collection of American and European art created since 1940. I finished up my run with a final loop south through the Garment District, which with the right guide, can be a fruitful destination for well-priced jewelry and clothing.

Because my friend had never visited L.A., I was psyched to have the chance to serve as a tour guide for a city in which I have never lived. One of my favorite neighborhoods to show off is Los Feliz-Griffith Park. Los Feliz, located north of downtown and just off the Golden State Freeway (I-5), was hot a few years ago. And, while the trendsetters may have moved on, it remains a very desirable and close-in residential area with great restaurants and local shops along its two main drags, Vermont and Hillhurst avenues. And, then there is the park, one of the largest urban greenspaces in the country. One of my all-time favorite things to do in Los Angeles is to drink in the views from the fabulously Deco Griffith Observatory. You can’t just visit once either; there are the daytime views of downtown, Century City, the Hollywood Hills, including the sign, and the San Gabriel Mountains. In fact, in clear weather, the daytime views can stretch as far as Catalina Island. But you have to return to enjoy the brilliance of peering out over Los Angeles at night, carpeted in lights as far as one can see. I just don’t think I could visit L.A. and not make a stop here.

After making our nighttime visit to the Observatory, my friend and I had a great meal at Vermont Kitchen and Bar, which serves a well-executed and reasonably priced menu that includes flatbreads, several fish and meat choices and, on this visit, a delicious goat cheese ravioli in truffle oil. Other good dining options include Trattoria Farfella, a pasta place on Hillhurst, or the House of Pies Coffee Shop back over on Vermont. If you still have room, there’s also a branch of Pinkberry, the now-exported L.A. frozen yogurt sensation, near the intersection of Vermont and Sunset Boulevard.

GETTING OUT OF TOWN: Perhaps it’s counter-intuitive, but I have found that planning one day out of L.A. – even on a brief weekend visit – can help you manage your time and visitor fatigue in the city. There are lots of choices. You can stay relatively close in and check out Malibu (technically, you’re still within Los Angeles city limits) with its beaches and the Getty Center, or maybe head to the beaches of neighboring Orange County. You can head inland for a quick fix of desert rat-pack lifestyle in Palm Springs, or you can travel by car or train to San Diego to sample all that city’s many charms, including kid friendly destinations like the world-famous San Diego Zoo or, our son’s personal favorite, LEGOLAND in neighboring Carlsbad.

For this trip’s escape, we chose to head north to Santa Barbara, self-described as the American Riviera and a favorite getaway for Hollywood A-listers. The two-hour drive up Highway 101 takes you mostly along the spectacular Pacific Ocean coastline. Our first stop of the day for a late breakfast was in Montecito, a wealthy seaside village just to the south of Santa Barbara whose homeowners include Oprah. The village has a shopping strip just off the 101 that includes several good dining options, upscale clothing stores and a number of art galleries. Later in the day, we would return to Montecito to enjoy drinks and the lovely ocean view from the terrace at the Four Seasons Santa Barbara, a posh and well-maintained resort oozing old California style and charm.

In between, we headed to downtown Santa Barbara, a popular destination for shopping, walking and dining. State Street, which runs directly from the oceanfront beaches, is the main drag, but shopping opportunities are present on the adjoining streets, as well. Although today it’s lined with mostly chain stores, including branches of Macy’s and Nordstrom, State Street also offers some good restaurants, bars and art galleries, as well as the small but well-curated Santa Barbara Museum of Art. Just outside downtown is Old Mission Santa Barbara, one of the most important members of California’s historic chain of missions built by Spanish explorers in the 18^th Century, and which just celebrated its 225^th anniversary. It’s well worth the time to explore the mission and learn more about the role of missions in exploring and colonizing California. One other Santa Barbara must-do for which we unfortunately ran out of time is jumping into the delicious debate over which is the best taco joint in the city. Julia Child once tipped her hand to La Super Rica, but there are several other competitors that have helped make Santa Barbara a taco destination.

BACK IN TOWN, GO WEST: The freeway traffic on the drive back into Los Angeles from Santa Barbara, even on a non-rush hour, weekend day, was a grind, so we bailed when we got to the San Diego Freeway (I-405) and exited onto Sunset Boulevard for a more leisurely trip back downtown. This brings me to an important travel trip I learned while on the ground for 7 weeks. Despite the presence of a Metro system, you’re going to need a car in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, L.A.’s freeways are old and overcrowded, day and night, every day. It’s therefore easier and far less frustrating if you can plan your route using local, surface streets. This also makes spur-of-the-moment stops easier. Once off the 405, we found ourselves in the wealthy Westside neighborhoods surrounding the beautiful campus of the University of California, Los Angeles. Continuing east on Sunset, we passed through Beverly Hills, with its manicured luxury, and West Hollywood, a key center of Gay life in Los Angeles, before ditching the car at Melrose Avenue, a street of trendy and alternative shopping stretching between LaBrea and Fairfax avenues. Although it may have lost some of its edgy appeal with the inevitable arrival of Starbucks and clothing chains, Melrose Avenue still has some only-in-L.A. local shops, including some excellent consignment stores. And, believe me, what people to take to consignment stores in L.A. is not what you might find back home at your local used clothing store. On this visit, however, we focused our retail energy at Fred Segal, the local trendsetter for women’s and men’s clothing. It’s the kind of a place where you can spend $150 on a casual men’s shirt to wear with jeans, but also pick up retro, hip sunglasses for 10 bucks.

The next day, we left downtown and again headed west, stopping for lunch and some additional retail therapy on Robertson Boulevard. Beverly Hills has Rodeo Drive, but I prefer nearby Robertson Boulevard, which is adjacent to the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Given the fact that I mostly am looking and not dropping large amounts of cash when visiting such centers of high-end retail, Robertson Blvd. offers lots of great stores with a lot less attitude. Among its offerings, there’s a really cool Chanel concept store, a well-stocked Ted Baker branch where I liked basically everything, an outpost of London’s Allsaints Spitalfields, and one of my favorite Los Angeles stores, Kitson. It’s actually three stores along the boulevard, one each for kids, men and women. Kitson is not a department store, but it does offer a fairly extensive and well-chosen selection of clothing, accessories and gifts.

We rounded out the final day of this visit by going as far west as possible. Santa Monica is a beautiful, affluent beachside city surrounded on three sides by Los Angeles. In addition to being a beach resort destination in its own right, there are plenty of places to shop and dine in Santa Monica if you’re staying in other parts of the city. We were there to take a stroll on its famed pier, jutting into the Pacific, and watch the scene on a brilliant September afternoon. The pier includes amusement rides for the kids, street performers, tacky souvenir joints and a several places to have a drink or grab a bite to eat. The people watching was excellent and the scene of surfers and beachgoers against a backdrop of mountains and ocean was spectacular on the day of our visit. Although there was more to see, including taking a walk on the beach, my friend and I were due back downtown to meet my cousins for dinner. So, we made the drive back to our hotel and talked about what we might see or do when we next returned to Los Angeles. And, I know I will. Much like New York, London or Paris, Los Angeles is a world-class city that warrants repeat visits to further explore its many charms and diversions. You just have to break it down and accept the fact that you will always run out of time before you exhaust your list of “to-dos.”

A QUICK FIX OF MUNICH

DIFFERING IMAGES: My image of Munich evolved constantly during a brief visit earlier this year. The Bavarian capital both confirmed and contradicted preconceptions, which makes it a great destination. Reading descriptions in travel books, Munich is generally described as beautiful and prosperous and much more conservative when compared to Berlin and Hamburg, Germany’s two other big cities. Beautiful and prosperous are immediately apparent upon arrival. This city of about 1.5 million is spectacularly situated in southern Germany near the Alps and is a center of publishing and finance, as well as the headquarters of such famous brands as BMW and Allianz. Because Munich was once the seat of government for the independent Republic of Bavaria, it has palaces and museums on par with any other European capital. Arriving after a 5-hour drive from the rollicking, anything goes capital – that would be Berlin – I was prepared for Munich to be more buttoned down. And, in certain ways, it was. Our hotel, the K & K Hotel am Harras, was located in a quiet neighborhood where most shops had closed by 7:00 p.m. on the day we arrived. Finding dinner that first night required a subway trip into the center of the city. The good news is that Munich has an extensive and safe metro system (U-bahn) and, within minutes, we were dining in a pub on a traditional Bavarian meal of pork and potato dumplings. Oh, yes, and beer; although we sampled a great variety of very drinkable German wines during our stay, so non-beer drinkers needn’t worry.

My first image of Munich changed two days later on a hot July morning as my spouse and our son and I were walking towards the Marienplatz and the Neues Rathaus (City Hall), a beautiful, imposing example of Gothic revival architecture. As we got nearer, the music got louder. We rounded a corner into the city’s main square to face a large stage with jumbo speakers blasting out Sister Sledge’s “We are Family.” Before the stage was a large crowd numbering in the thousands that included lots of shirtless men wearing lederhosen, the otherwise very traditional Bavarian men’s garment of leather shorts with suspenders. As it turned out, we had traveled to the city during Christopher Street Day München, the city’s annual gay pride festival. As much fun as the parade looked to be, we adjusted our sightseeing plans to avoid its route in order to see as much as possible during our only full day in the city because Munich is a great walking city and many of its attractions are concentrated in the historic center along the banks of the River Isar.

So, we moved away from the crowds onto the narrow pedestrianized streets radiating off Marienplatz and my impression of Munich changed yet again. I headed to Maximilian Strasse, Munich’s Fifth Avenue. As I walked this posh shopping street, I noted the striking contrast between the “minimally clad” crowd partying a short distance away in Marienplatz and the large groups of women shoppers before me in chadours, hijabs and other articles of Islamic clothing waiting their turn to gain entrance from doormen into the likes of Chanel, Prada, Louis Vuitton and Jimmy Choo. Clearly, Munich is both a party destination beyond Oktoberfest and a major retail stop for shoppers from all over.

Munich also is a city in which you could spend a weekend visiting one impressive museum after another. My spouse and our son spent the better part of the day at the famous Deutsches Museum, arguably the world’s largest museum of science and technology. Just beyond the medieval core lies the Museum District, home to the Alte Pinakothek (Old Gallery), the Neue Pinakothek (New Gallery) and the Pinakothek der Moderne (Museum of Modern Art). Together, these galleries showcase centuries of art from Germany and well beyond. The city also has several beautiful parks when you need a break outside. The site of the 1972 Olympics today is a multi-purpose playground for residents and visitors, while the city’s Englischer Garten is one of the largest urban city parks in the world. Closer in and smaller is the lovely Hofgarten, a park in the Italian Renaissance style near the Residenz, the former royal palace of Bavarian monarchy.

OUT AND ABOUT: After making my way across the River Isar to the looming and impressive Bavarian State Parliament, I decided to join in the Pride activities after all. So, I headed to Müllerstrasse, a prime location of gay friendly stores, bars and restaurants. I picked up souvenirs in the form of two new shirts at Seba’s, an of-the-moment men’s store. Down the street, I stopped into a shoe store and left with a new pair of Munich sneakers. I asked about the name and the salesperson told me that the shoes actually are made by a Spanish company that was founded and named after the Munich Olympics.

As a major transportation hub, Munich is a great base for exploring this part of Germany and neighboring Austria. There are lots of options, too, from lakeside resorts to winter sports in the Alps, including Garmisch, situated near the Zugspitze, Germany’s highest peak. Less than 20 miles outside Munich lies the commuter suburb of Dachau with its scenic, historic core. Of course, Dachau is forever infamous as the site of one of the most notorious Nazi death camps. Traveling with a 10-year-old, we left for another visit to Munich that important but undoubtedly sobering experience.

Instead, for our day out of Munich, we boarded a train for the two-hour trip to visit the fairy tale-inspiring palace of Mad King Ludwig. Having seen the iconic images of Neuschwanstein many times, I still was amazed to be staring up at this enormous castle built on a rock. The visit involves a very strenuous and uphill hike that takes about 30 minutes. The reward is well worth the effort. In addition to the castle itself with several rooms open to visitors, the panoramic views of the surrounding countryside make for an outstanding mental postcard of Bavaria.

Beautiful, scenic, historic, fun, hip, prosperous, green. Munich is all of these and more. My final impression was of a great, world-class city worthy of more exploration. I will hope to return soon.

BERLIN: YOU NEED TO GO

PURE GERMANY: Our Pee Wee Herman, “there’s no basement in the Alamo” moment in Berlin came this summer on the final day of our first trip to the German capital. We had spent the morning visiting Charlottenburg Palace, a spectacular former residence of Prussian royalty located on the western edge of the city, and then made our way to the Bundestag, or Parliament building, near the River Spree and the new Hauptbahnhof (central train station). Our plan was to visit the top of the building.

I had read that the view from the Sir Norman Foster-designed glass dome atop the official seat of government in the Bundesrepublik Deutschland was awesome. What I failed to learn beforehand was that – these days – one must request an admission time, typically two or three days in advance, so we were denied admission. Although disappointed we would not experience a new signature tourist experience of modern Berlin, given the fact that I work in Washington, D.C., with its myriad security measures, I found it surprising that we could have – had we planned better – visited the official seat of government of the largest member of the European Union with an e-mail request and our passports. Though we would not see the interior of the Bundestag on this trip, in every other respect, Berlin did not disappoint and it more than exceeded our expectations.

THE BIG, COMPLICATED CITY: Berlin is continental Europe’s largest city with more than four million residents. It’s a remarkably connected place in 2011, given that the city was divided for four decades after World War II and following its punishing defeat as the seat of Nazi power. Today, it seems (to me) utterly connected and reunited. It also appears to be a city that is obviously aware of, but not inordinately burdened by, its painful divisions and inglorious past. Berlin is a rollicking capital that does not deny its history – it marks it in unflinching ways – but it also presents the modern face of Germany and all that this rich, fascinating country offers. In the 20 years or so since Berlin resumed its position as the seat of government from Bonn, a slew of new construction that includes ministries and embassies has followed. The result is that Berlin today is an interesting, appealing and, as yet, unfinished mix of 21^st century glass and steel commercial structures alongside modern versions of stately government offices and buildings from earlier periods that either have been restored to their former glory or stand by shabbily but with potential.

It’s also a young city full of 20- and 30-somethings sitting around cafes with laptops or smartphones and – apparently – recovering from some late night revelry. Berlin was described in a recent article about the city’s entrepreneurship potential in the New York Times as a “dilettante party capital.” My spouse and I spent four days in Berlin in July with our 10-year-old son, so I can’t really speak to the level or quality of partying, but I did observe that Berlin seems to be a city in which you can easily scratch an itch, whatever it may be.

SETTLING IN TO OUR ‘HOOD: Thanks to the navigation in our rented BMW, we arrived from Thuringia state in central Germany to our destination in the heart of Berlin with ease following a three hour drive. Our home for four days was a two-bedroom apartment in the Prenzlauer Berg district, in the former East, which we rented through Brilliant Apartments, one of several apartment rental companies that operate in Berlin. Using an apartment rental service offered a great, lower cost alternative to a hotel with several key advantages: more room, a kitchen with a balcony overlooking a lovely courtyard, a fabulous location in a hip neighborhood of mostly young couples and families – straight and gay - with great shopping and dining. The nearest U-Bahn (Berlin’s Metro) station was just blocks away. An added plus was the ground floor Café Krone, which serves great coffee along with buttery and delicious chocolate croissants. And, thanks to Sandra, the wonderfully helpful manager of Brilliant Apartments, we were able to park our rental car for the duration of our visit at a nearby garage for just €26.

RAINY DAY, NO PROBLEM: Having spent four rainy days in Germany already, we awoke our first morning in Berlin to yet another day of rain. No worries. As we quickly learned, there is plenty to see and do in Berlin, both indoors and outdoors. After a late morning breakfast in our apartment, we dashed to the U-Bahn station at Eberswalder Strasse and made our way to the Potsdamer Platz. What once was a no-man’s land in divided Berlin today is a major commercial center of the city, and home to the Sony Center, a towering complex of hotels, shopping, dining and residences. Thanks to one of our son’s obsessions, we headed straight to one of the complex’s key attractions, the Lego Discovery Center. We spent the morning checking out all the amazing creations made from those tiny little bricks (e.g., the Bundestag in Legos, complete with a glass dome). Kids also get a chance to put their imagination to use and spend time creating their own Lego masterpieces. Our son enjoyed pitting his newly constructed race car against those of other junior designers.

Next up was the multi-level shopping center across the street, where we went to pick up adapters for my MacBook and our son’s DS player, and to grab lunch, where I had my first taste of wienershnitzel. Actually, it was the turkey version, the name of which sounded even funnier (to me): putenschnitzel.

As we headed outside, the rain had ended and the skies finally began to brighten, so we decided to walk towards the Brandenburg Gate, Berlin’s most iconic symbol. Newly refurbished, the Brandenburg Gate was built as a memorial to the military prowess of the Prussian army. Today, it’s a major tourist destination much like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, straddling a strategic location near the Bundestag to the north, the entrance to the enormous Tiergarten to the west, the Central Park of Berlin, and the Unter den Linden to the east, one of the most elegant boulevards in Europe. We also paused to respectfully walk through the plaza of more than 2700 concrete slabs that comprise the Berlin Holocaust Memorial or, as it is more descriptively named, the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. It’s a place where the laughter and chatter of nearby streets fades as people quietly reflect on this somber and gray place that makes the point of its existence beautifully and effectively.

ART AND HISTORY: From the Brandenburg Gate, we walked east along the Under den Linden, checking out the new embassies of the United States, Russia and France, then on to the Berliner Dom, the city’s main Protestant cathedral, before arriving at Museum Island – literally – an island in River Spree, ever inch of which is filled with the State Museums of Berlin, including the Bode Museum of Art, the New and Old National Galleries, a museum of Egyptian antiquities and, at our son’s choosing, our pick for the day. The Pergamon Museum houses a vast collection of classic antiquities from Greek and Roman civilizations, as well as collections of Near East and Islamic art. According to its website, the monumental reconstruction of archaeological building ensembles - such as the namesake Pergamon Altar, the Market Gate of Miletus and the Ishtar Gate including the Processional Way of Babylon and the Mshatta Façade - has made the Pergamon world-famous.

We left the Pergamon and headed across the Spree to the reconstructed New Synagogue with its gleaming gold dome, an important symbol of the resiliency of Berlin’s Jewish community. After clearing the airport-like security, we walked to the top of the synagogue’s dome, which offers its own fine views of Berlin. The original building was set ablaze during the anti-Semitic orgy of Krystallnacht in 1938, and would have been destroyed, but for a fire brigade commander who would not sit idly by. Later, the ruined structure sat abandoned and overgrown in East Berlin, only to be restored to its former glory after reunification.

From the New Synagogue, we made our way back to our apartment in Prenzlauer Berg, scoping out the evening’s dining options on Oderberger Strasse, our home street for a few days. We settled on a café near our apartment building that served Thai, Chinese and Malaysian cuisine at outside tables with the temporary accessory of a flat-screen TV broadcasting the Women’s World Cup soccer match between France and Germany. Germany won that night and we saw no reason not to join in the home country celebrating.

Before leaving Berlin, we also managed to fit in visits to the world-famous Berlin Zoo and the Schwules Museum, which is the world’s only museum dedicated to the history of GLBT people. And, we had a final meal along the Kurfurstendamm, a posh, elegant boulevard in the former West lined with the likes of Prada, Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Berlin’s most famous retail emporium, the Kafthaus des Westens, which is abbreviated by everyone to KaDeWe.

We left Berlin wishing we had more time, but the BMW navigation was re-programmed for our next exciting stop: Munich and Bavaria.